Texts: Psalm 13, Luke 15: 1-10
It’s a few weeks ago now that Gordon posted on our website the video of Juno Award winning Meaghan Patrick singing “Praying Right.” I wonder if you listened to it? … and what response it evoked in you? There’s something about her words that I think offer us a beautiful way into our reflection this morning. Here’s what she sings:
"Praying Right"
My friend called me Sunday and asked me if I wanted to go
Part of me wanted to and part of me didn't know
Can I wear my boots and jeans?
Will everybody stare at me?
Like they know how long it's been
I've got questions
Cause I've been treating my soul like an old run down shack
All my demons living rent free on my back
So when I walk in with all my sins
I know I won't blend in, but can you forgive me?
I've got questions
Can I sing Amazing Grace with last nights whiskey on my breath?
Do I deserve your love with the little bit of faith I've got left?
Am I saying the right things?
Am I getting through?
Is it too late to turn to you
I'm trying, Lord I'm trying to find the light
Tell me am I praying right?
I can't quote the verse, but I heard there's one that says
That all have fallen short so maybe I still have a chance
And it's heavy on me the shame I feel
For not giving thanks for my blessings
Am I worthy of an answer
I've got questions
Can I sing Amazing Grace with last nights whiskey on my breath?
Do I deserve your love with the little bit of faith I've got left?
Am I saying the right things?
Am I getting through?
Is it too late to turn to you
I'm trying, Lord I'm trying to find the light
Tell me am I praying right?
Do I have to hit my knees and raise my hands in church on Sunday?
Or do you still hear what's in my heart when I pray in my own way?
Can I sing Amazing Grace with last nights whiskey on my breath?
Do I deserve your love with the little bit of faith I've got left?
Am I saying the right things?
Am I getting through?
Is it too late now to turn to you
I'm trying, Lord I'm trying to find the light
Tell me am I praying right?
Tell me am I praying right?
The things about our life that make us wonder … what are other’s going to think? … what will they see? … how will I be judged? … what does God think of me? … am I worthy of God’s love … with all the shame I carry, how long it’s been since I’ve given God a thought, a thanks … is it ok to show up now? what are the right things to say? And now that I’m asking, God do you hear me? I’m trying. I’m trying.
I love her courage, her candidness, her willingness to give voice to these questions that reveal her heart. I love what she shows us what it is for some people to walk through these doors. Maybe you are that person … maybe you’ve been that person. I love how she alerts us to how our energies impact … what we convey by our words and all that goes unspoken.
I love how she surfaces this fundamental question: given what my life has held, given what it holds, what I hold, where am I with God? Where is God with me? And that overarching suspicion that God needs us to be good (whatever that means), like there’s this standard that we are expected to live up to, yet it’s so easy to miss the mark.
So where does that leave us when we know we’ve missed the mark?
Maybe we just best stay away. Or maybe we show up while keeping those parts of ourselves under raps, buried, safely tucked away.
Since when did we become the experts on what is and isn’t acceptable to God? Actually we’ve probably been experts on that one for a long time. But that’s not to say we’re right!! What if all along we’ve been wrong?
It is to blow our minds that Jesus tells these parables … these stories we have today in Luke’s Gospel. It is to give our heads a shake, to give us a new take that he tells these stories … that we might come to see the nature of God, know the heart of God, in a new way.
“Which of you,” he says to these experts who are certain of what is acceptable to God … “which of you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the 99 in the wilderness and go in search of the one that is lost until he finds it? And then when he does, he lays it on his shoulder and rejoices … and then calls together his friends and neighbours to come and celebrate, to share in his great joy. Or what woman, having 10 coins and losing one, turns the house upside down and inside out searching for it until she finds it, and then calls together her friends and neighbours to come and celebrate, to share in her great joy.”
“Which of you?” Jesus asks. Well probably none of us. There’s only so much time we can give to the search; and only so much we’re prepared to risk. There comes a point where it’s just wiser to cut our losses and move on.
So here’s the thing: it doesn’t occur to God to cut the losses. That’s what Jesus is trying to tell us, to show us, to have us know and trust. There is no moving on without every last one of us. In fact our lostness --and there are so many ways we can be lost -- lost to one another, lost to ourselves, lost in our shame our fear our despair, lost in exhaustion trying to make the world right, lost in our care-lessness about the world … there are so many ways we can be lost. AND it is precisely our lost-ness that provokes God’s diligent, tireless, endless searching until we are found. And even more than that, “trust me, Jesus says, “it’s over the top! In the finding there is in the heart of God, immeasurable joy … no shaming, no shunning, no reprisals, no guilt-trips. Only healing … only forgiving … only life-changing, liberating love.
Do you know God’s irrepressible joy in finding you, in claiming you?
I’m not sure I do.
What about you?
Maybe I missed the party.
Maybe I’ve found a really good hiding place.
Maybe I want to be found after all.
What about you?
